you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
