chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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