Im at strip club and am horny
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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