I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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