it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
