Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
