So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
