i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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