So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
