i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
