So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
