woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
