using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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