Me. At least after what I've been through.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
