and she was petting her beer can
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize