Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize