all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
