well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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