i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
