Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
