Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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