Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
