You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Someone stole a lamp last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
