I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
