I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
