is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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