There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
