If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
