That's intense
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize