There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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