Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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