That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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