who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
