it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When are your genitals available?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
