the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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