White coat. Heels.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
