You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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