Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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