there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
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The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.