if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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