So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
