also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize