I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize