apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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