i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
