how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
ttyl tear gas
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
