he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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