So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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