There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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