It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
