dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
