Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
