The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
worst night to have a conscience
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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