I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
