i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
