I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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