I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
