This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
