Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
