Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
