I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
