I want to have your abortion
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize