I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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