I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
