I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
